".....................now we're on my home ground, foreign territory. My throat constricts, as it learned to do when I discovered people could say words that would go into my ears meaning nothing.................to be deaf and dumb would be easier................the cards they poke at you when they want a quarter, with the hand alphabet on them.......even so, you would need to learn spelling.........."............................."...........but they've cheated, we're here too soon and I feel deprived of something, as though I can't really get here unless I've suffered; as though the first view of the lake, which we can see now, blue and cool as redemption, should be through tears and haze of vomit...................."